Monday, December 31 ‘07 *Los Angeles Times*: “You’re not sorry? That’s OK; Scientists and faith-based counselors debate whether people should forgive the unforgivable — for the sake of their health” by Melissa Healy, Los Angeles Times Staff Writer.

Here’s the article:

CLOSE your eyes and think of someone who has hurt you. The offense may be profound or small but deeply painful, a single arrow to your heart or a thousand wounding slights. The perpetrator may be a stranger — the guy who caused your accident, the gang-banger who took your child. More likely, it will be someone close and trusted. The sister who killed herself. The parent who lashed out, the spouse mired in addiction, an unfaithful lover.

Maybe it’s the boss who’s a tyrant, the business partner who’s an idiot, the trickster who seduced you. It might even be yourself.

Let all the anger, hurt and resentment you feel for that wrongdoer bubble to the surface. Seethe, shout, savor it. Feel your heart pounding, your blood boiling, your stomach churning and your thoughts racing in dark directions.

OK, stop. Now, forgive your offender. Don’t just shed the bitterness and drop the recrimination, but empathize with his plight, wish him well and move on — whether he’s sorry or not.


Case Western Reserve (3/4/2008 ) issued the following news release about research
published in the *Journal of Personality & Social Psychology*:

Men Have A Harder Time Forgiving Than Women Do

Forgiveness can be a powerful means to healing, but it does not come
naturally for both sexes. Men have a harder time forgiving than women
do, according to Case Western Reserve University psychologist Julie
Juola Exline. But that can change if men develop empathy toward an
offender by seeing they may also be capable of similar actions. Then the
gender gap closes, and men become less vengeful.